The philosophy of a counsellor
Earlier this week, when talking about resilience and looking after ourselves, a client asked me what keeps me going as a counsellor and what philosophies I find I really connect with, and I have to admit in the moment it threw me a little and I’ve had to reflect on it.
Not that there’s nothing at all, or that it’d be entirely outside of professional boundaries. More, it’s not often that we put that question to ourselves, so if you’ll indulge me this week…
I’m not religious as an adult and it’s not something I draw from personally. Perhaps the most applicable ‘church,’ if that’s appropriate, to my own view of life is Humanism; standing for compassion and kindness and building a more humane world. Last week, I wrote about hearing President Obama speak when he visited Glasgow [LINK] and there was a lot there about -choosing- hope that resonated with me and I think is very compatible with humanism.
More general, working with clients on their mental health can be incredibly powerful. We see a lot of our fellow human beings in pain, going through or recovering from some of worst things someone might experience, and we’re able to be there with them and support them. It really is an honour to be trusted with that.
For the sci-fi fans the connection we make in sessions can be a little bit like a mind-meld and one of the reasons professional counselling involves a lot of training and ongoing support. While sometimes the public perception is that counsellors have to be very stoic and neutral, being our authentic (and human!) selves can often strengthen the work that we’re able to do with someone.
We can bring that authenticity and the patience and skills we bring to counselling into our day to day lives too and be there for our family and friends.
If I had to think about authors, the chap who always comes to mind for me personally is Carl Rogers (On Becoming a Person. He was a person centred counsellor, so someone more “hands off” and less directive than a CBT counsellor but he wrote very beautifully about counselling and working with clients, and I think I’ll end with a quote from him:
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset I don’t find myself saying ‘soften the orange a little on the right hand corner.’ I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”
If you’d like to work with a BACP accredited counsellor on your mental health, you can get in touch with me via the website or directly at mckellar.scott@gmail.com
