Who do you think you're talking to?

The nicest people can sometimes treat themselves terribly, beating themselves up inside about what might be the most trivial things. How do you talk to yourself?

In counselling, we often encourage clients to really listen to their internal voice and be aware of how they talk to themselves and the impact it has on them. 

A very critical or negative inner voice can be very challenging to live with, and, as we might imagine, lead to problems with anxiety and low mood. 

So why do we do this?

I’ve written previously about rules for living, where we can drive ourselves hard to maintain a fragile statue quo. If we’ve been getting verbal abuse and criticism from someone (for example, a challenging parent, or a bullying partner) we can also wind up internalising it, often without even realising it.

I’ve worked with clients who, having had a negative relationship years in the past, realise in counselling that they are talking to themselves in exactly the same way that their partner used to, even down to certain words that they would use. Once we realised this and it was out in the open we were able to work on it and build healthier patterns of thinking.

With counselling you can work on making that inner voice more of a supportive friend.

So how do you talk to yourself? Would you talk to a friend like that? Would you let someone talk to a friend or a loved one like that? 

If you would like to talk to me about working on your mental health, you can complete the online submission form or contact me directly at: mckellarCBT@gmail.com