A Healthy Relationship with Exercise

We all know we’re supposed to exercise and stay active to stay healthy, and most counsellors will encourage their clients to be more active. But sometimes exercising, whether that’s doing it in the house, doing a routine at the gym or going to an exercise class dpesn’t have the miracle impact we want it to have. We might feel embarrassed or self conscious, frustrated and wind up making ourselves feel terrible. 

What is contributing to this and what can we do about it?

Exhibit A: Social media, Influencers and celebrities

Fitness influencers are all over social media, looking amazing, and making the lifestyle they’re pushing looking effortless. Of course they would, right? It’s how they make a living. Exercise influencers are never going to post anything that makes them look bad or unattractive or doesn’t suit their personal brand. It’s important that we’re wary of what they’re selling us (and why) and how their content is making us feel.

The same is true of celebrities. At the moment, the expectation appears to be that all men should have six packs, and even established ‘good looking’ male celebrities are shamed in the papers and online about having ‘dad bods’ when what they mean is a normal healthy body, and women in the public eye have always had it ten times worse.

Exhibit B: Unrealistic fitness goals

We might start out an exercise programme expect to drop a large amount of weight or build a lot of muscle quickly. Sometimes we do lose a bit of weight easily at first (it’s usually water), but then it gets harder and we lose hope. Building muscle depends on a lot of different things that we might have very limited control over, and similarly we can get frustrated and lose hope.

It might be that we start exercises that don’t suit our current ability or body at the moment, and cause ourselves pain or even injury.

When we’re doing that we’re essentially torturing ourselves. Why should be associate exercise with punishment? The more we actually enjoy it, the more positive motivation we have to keep at it.

If we’re exercising because of a previous injury, perhaps a bad back or knee pain, it’s important that we are doing the right type of exercise that strengthens that area without causing further injury. It’s worth talking to your GP or a trainer about that for advice before starting an exercise programme and if you’re joining a class, make sure the instructor knows about your previous injury so that they can make adjustments. We’re only ever going to have one body, so let’s look after it!

Exhibit C: Comparing ourselves to other people at the gym

Naturally at the gym, there’s going to be a lot of people there who are already fit and who have healthy bodies. When we’re starting our exercise journey we might feel like a sweaty sack of potatoes next to them, and feel embarrassed that we’re not there yet, and convince ourselves that everyone is looking at us. (When the reality is, they’re more likely just getting on with what they need to do themselves). Letting ourselves get distracted by other people and how our health compares to them isn’t going to help us. The only person’s fitness journey that matters is our own.

To have a healthy relationship with exercise it’s important that self-kindness is at the core. If we’re doing it because we hate ourselves, no matter what we do and how our body changes, it’s never going to make us happy. Exercise should ideally work alongside good mental health practices; taking care of our body and taking care of our mental health - a perfect combination!

If you’d like to work with me on your mental health, you can get in touch with me via the website or drop me a message directly at mckellarcbt@gmail.com