I, Worrier.

I’ve talked in earlier blog posts about different kinds of worrying, and we might generally break that into two categories; "productive" worrying and what we would call "unproductive" worrying. 

In some instances, worrying about things can be useful. If we’re planning a trip, it can be helpful to ‘worry’ or spend time working out things like flights, what we’ll need to bring with us, any connections along the journey etc etc.

What differentiates between productive and unproductive worry is really how long this state of worrying needs to be sustained for.

In The Worry Cure (2005) Robert Leahy provided some excellence guidance about types of worry that I often return to when working with clients in counselling.

Signs of productive worry

• There is a question that has an answer

• You are focused on a single event, not a chain reaction of events

• You are willing to accept “good enough” rather than perfect

• You do not use your anxiety as a guide

• You recognise what you can control and what you can’t control

Signs of unproductive worry

• You worry about unanswerable questions

• You worry about a chain reaction of events

• You reject an imperfect solution

• You think you should worry until you feel less anxious

• You think you should worry until you control everything

These last two especially are fatal and perfectly describe what’s going with rumination, something I have been very guilty of myself in the past. If you think of Wonder Woman deflecting bullets with her bracelets, you go through things over and over in your head and have to have a response to everything. 

Eventually you’re not so much preparing yourself for what reasonably may happen as exhausting yourself writing a full-proof ‘script’ for how things are going to go, and you’re the only person in the world with a copy of that script. So what is actually gained by doing that? A “good enough” approach is much more flexible and able to cope with the realities of real life which we know includes lots of things we have no control over.

If you think of the last time you found yourself worry about something, what did you do? Was this productive worrying or unproductive worrying? Learning to recognise when we’re worrying unproductively is a valuable first step towards developing more useful strategies in managing anxiety.

If you would like to talk to me about problems with anxiety or other issues with your mental health, you can complete the online submission form or contact me directly at: mckellarCBT@gmail.com

(Image of 'Mr Worry' from 'Mr Men' is copyrighted, but used here under fair use guidelines. Owner/Creator: Sanrio Global Limited).