Just the facts, ma’am
Sometimes when CBT comes up in discussions alongside other types of counselling, there can be an assumption that CBT is a bit cold. That it’s about challenging someone rather than listening to them. That it’s about dismissing what someone is thinking and feeling and invalidating them.
Now I won’t get into criticising other counselling modalities, (they all have their strengths), but when it comes to this argument against CBT, it’s not really accurate.
A fundamental part of counselling is the Core Conditions described by the brilliant person-centred therapist Carl Rogers; empathy, congruence (genuineness), and unconditional positive regard towards the client.
In CBT, Rogers’ core conditions are absolutely still in effect, but there’s a difference in emphasis. Rather than the desired change coming from the connection itself, it’s an essential part of building the therapeutic alliance between client and counsellor, that will support the client into taking positive action through demonstrably effective tools and strategies. (Some of us, ahem, even have encyclopaedic knowledge of horror movies).
If we have thoughts that are upsetting us, CBT encourages to ask ourselves “Am I working with the facts here?” Can we find evidence (facts rather than opinion) that supports the thought that’s upsetting us? Against this, what facts are there that say that the thought is not true, or not true all of the time? What all these facts in mind, what’s a more reasonable version of the thought that was upsetting us?
We’re not seeking to whitewash something that has upset us. We’re not gaslighting ourselves into believing that what we’re experiencing isn’t real or has no value. We’re also absolutely not having a go at ourselves. What we’re doing is checking in with ourselves. Is my response in proportion to the situation?
Clarity. Structure. And a pathway towards where we’d like things to be.
Not to undermine ourselves. But to strengthen our ability to do something about it, and working alongside another human being who will listen to us and support us to get us there safely.
If you’d like to work with a BACP accredited counsellor on your mental health, you can get in touch with me via the website or directly at mckellar.scott@gmail.com
