No comparison - recognising the good things about ourselves

This time of year we’re encouraged to reflect on how the last 12 months have gone for us. Friends and work acquaintances will be sharing all the goals that they’ve hit or surpassed; perhaps their fitness has improved significantly, maybe they’ve achieved new qualifications or started a new career, or perhaps they’ve visited somewhere that’s always been a dream of yours.

If thing’s haven’t gone to plan this year, for whatever reason, we can really give ourselves a hard time, particularly if we struggle with low self-esteem.

There are different ways we would tackle this in counselling, but what I’d like to encourage you to consider as an alternative exercise if you find your mood bothering you this week is think about your positive qualities.

Get a sheet of paper and a pen and start off by thinking about these starter questions:

1. What qualities and actions do you value in other people that you have yourself?

2. What positive qualities do you possess? (Include qualities that you don’t feel you possess 100% of the time. No-one is something 100% of the time! Give yourself credit for having the quality at all  rather than it needing to be perfect).

3. How might another person who cared about you describe you?

4. What have you liked about yourself, even if that’s just been for a moment?

5. What challenges have you faced in your life? (Give yourself credit for them)

   
   
   
   

Watch out for unhelpful thinking styles that try to discount or minimise what you come up with. 

This is the first part of recognising the good things about ourselves and being open to seeing them in how we live our lives every day. Rather than spending this time of year comparing what we own or have achieved vs other people, we can value who we are as a person.

Get ready for the New Year by being kind to yourself and giving yourself some love.

If you'd like to talk to me about problems with self-esteem or other issues with your mental health, you can complete the online submission form or contact me directly at: mckellarCBT@gmail.com